In case anyone cares....my fix is.
I got rid of my include_list
Apparently if there is no include list the exclude list has nothing to compare against so it doesnt need to search through directories that are excluded. This means for me that my exclude list is over 30 entries long and needs to remain updated since it has to be more granular than having an include list.
I tried it and the backup finished very quickly getting everything i need and nothing i dont.